If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
