PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
