you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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