So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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