You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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