Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
