this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
