if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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