so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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