Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
