I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
