He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
