The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
