You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
