We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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