I feel like I'm in dance class right now
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
