Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
