he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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