i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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