Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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