omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
