I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize