Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
