I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
