The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
As shirtless as possible
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sext me about skeletons
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
