I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
