I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She even gives head with a lisp.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
