Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need moral support for this bender
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
