we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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