Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
