Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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