how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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