i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
