Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
