I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize