OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
