I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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