does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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