Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
