You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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