new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
