i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize