She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
