Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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