i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
