I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry about my life...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
