i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
