it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
