I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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