Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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