I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
