I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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