I wish I could punch you in the face.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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