Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
