I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
