Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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