Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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