when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
