I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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