In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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