I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
