you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
