D3 body, D1 cock
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
