He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
